About Me

My Photo

Providing non-judgmental and non-criticizing support for family and friends of end-stage alcoholics through one-on-one coaching, support groups, blog posts, workshops and public speaking.

Saturday, April 18, 2015


Sandy James, a friend and fellow blogger has written an interesting post that, in my opinion, is a good explanation of why women married to alcoholics stay rather than leave. You can find her post titled “Courage” here: http://takingbackme.net/?p=635. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

"Taking Back Me" is the name of Sandy's blog. It is her journey to re-finding herself and re-establishing her life while still married to her functional alcoholic husband.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

A million requests...

I started this blog on September 9, 2010 with an entry about how I got to where I was at that time. How I Got Here  I remember that once the site was up and running and posting several times, I tried to make some changes to the format and lost all my posts. I re-did the layout and re-posted the posts on October 19, 2010.

Since then I’ve published 317 posts over 4 ½ years. I’m very proud to say that I am celebrating my one millionth hit (view). I never in a million years imagined I would ever have my blog viewed a million times. In honor of the occasion, this post will be a review of the journey that the blog (and both Riley and I) have taken.

September 2010 – Riley was drinking but still moderately functional. I started the blog as a means of communication for my family and a way to put into writing all the research information I had gathered. I thought that possibly the information I gathered could help other people. Some posts were my own point of view, others contained factual information and some were about my life with Riley in the past and also in the present.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

It's OK...

Everyone lives by their own set of criteria. That means that the decisions we make are ones that make sense only to us as individuals. Of course other people understand, accept, question and comment, but in the end we own our own decisions. When it comes to deciding to leave or stay, most people who are not involved with an alcoholic will question a person’s choice no matter what the decision is.

If the decision is that you are going to leave, but really want to stay, the real question is how to do it. Is there a way

Sunday, March 29, 2015

A wise old person...

It is difficult to be of an age when you have become “experienced”. I often heard said that older people are sagacious or sage, wise, and/or educated. Not educated as in a Master’s degree in anything, but educated via the school of life.

In other countries the senior citizens are revered for their life of information gathering. In the USA, unfortunately, that is not the case. Instead children are intent on having to do things by self-learning which is often a “hard row to hoe.” But none the less,

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Silence of the children...

Most of the people who contact me are spouses of an alcoholic. But the alcoholic family extends far beyond the wife or husband. The children of the couple become damaged just as much as the spouse. A blog follower contacted me about her son’s acting out. She was in tears because she didn’t know or understand what the problem his adolescent mind was addressing.

Way, way back when Riley was in his very first ever rehab center – a Navy mandated and operated facility – I was fortunate

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Rest in peace Doc

Way back in 2010 I received a comment on a post from a woman named Gerry. She had a blog that included videos of her and her friend Doc. The videos were very entertaining and Riley and I watched them together over our morning coffee. Doc was a true “character”. He was a

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

More than numbers...

One thing I've learned through writing this blog is that families and friends of alcoholics are eager to learn everything they can about alcoholism. They want to know about all the associated diseases and accompanying illnesses. Even though they know there

Friday, March 13, 2015

Still immortal...

We sat in the doctor’s office waiting for the news about the status of Riley’s cancer. He completed his first round of treatment and four weeks later had a CT Scan to determine what or where we go from here. We had been told that it was highly unlikely

Saturday, February 28, 2015

Harmony's Success Story

My guest poster, Harmony Rose, is the wife of an alcoholic who allowed forgiveness to set her free. She submitted her story to me in response to requests for success stories. A link to her book is at the end of this post.

This is Harmony's story:

I can honestly say “Love at first sight” is where our story begins. When my husband

Saturday, February 21, 2015


Lately, I seem to be dealing with a lot of people who have gone through some really – I mean REALLY – tough times. Every idea, thought, dream, confidence is being tested and the result is that they are having difficulty trusting in their own abilities. They have lost a sense of